When I realized I needed a change

I am a very logical person (hence the biochem major). In my mind, when there’s a problem, there’s always a clear solution. Headache? Take excedrin. Tired? Take a nap. Feeling ill? Sleep and fluids. However, when I kept having these problems and using the solution I thought was right, they weren’t improving. So what was going on?

No matter what I did, I didn’t feel “happy” or “fulfilled”. I went to college, worked out, slept well, ate healthy, drank water, spent time with friends, spent quality time alone, took medication for my anxiety- I was doing EVERYTHING right, or so it seemed. However, I was still always sick, tired, stressed out, etc. Going into my first semester, I really thought college would make me feel better or that I was on the right track. While it did, my life still was filled with anxiety. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong.

In my psychology class I watched a video about how the body can “heal itself“. I wasn’t super convinced. I really did/do believe that some things just require medication and that’s that. Something that Dr. Lissa Rankin mentions that “fear, loneliness, pessimism, and depression can make the body sick, while love, intimate connection, optimism, and faith can cure you.”

I did agree with that, but what I didn’t realize was that I was experiencing this. I took a good look at every person and habit in my life. It took time, but I found what people and decisions increased my anxiety. It again took time for me to really accept that I needed to let these people and things go.

Here are the things I did:

• Ended a long-term relationship that wasn’t healthy
• Ended toxic friendships
• Moved out
• Started doing more yoga
• Started dating again
• Keeping track of the things that made me feel better/worse
• Learned to become more self-aware

After getting through the initial pain of losing these people and habits, I immediately felt better. I had energy, wasn’t as anxious, etc. I am still sick (probably a virus) so I’m not saying that dropping your toxic friend will cure all of your problems, but it will cure your mind. This will in turn cure your body. I really believe that the happiest people don’t have it all, they have what makes them feel the best.

I realize that not everyone’s life is as easily changeable as mine, but letting go of my toxic relationships and habits has completely changed my entire life and I urge everyone to do so as well.

Thanks for reading!